Blimey. It's busy in terminal three today. Talk about the place where all humanity meets.

Dear reader, you will be delighted to know that I've now topped up with a sausage bap and decent coffee. And feeling much more with it.

However - cannot help but think 26 litres of coffee before an 8 hour flight isn't a good move - well at least I have an aisle seat so wont be disturbing when I get up every five minutes to powder my nose.

As I'm gazing around the departure lounge I never cease to be amazed at the luggage people think is appropriate for carry-on purposes (overhead locker as opposed to ooh matron). I'm sure most of it looks bigger and heaver than the piece I checked in. Good job I left the wicker donkey and sombrero at home. Surely nobody needs to see you rifling through your smalls to get your earphones out? Or do I mean cans? Now i've drifted on to that I fear that I'm turning in to my mum. Why do people use those GIANT headphones connected to a teeny tiny MP3 player? Sound quality may be better yes - but in an airport lounge listening to Coldplay? Really? You don't need the acoustic merits of the Sydney Opera House surely?

Anyhow rant over. I've been distracted by one of my airport favourites - People dressed head to toe in linen. One word. Why? You look creased like an unmade bed and you haven't even travelled anywhere. Goodness knows what you'll look like when you land in Fuengirola.

Whilst checking in asked the obvious question about upgrade, whilst trying to look coquettish and flirting wildly - Certainly sir, that'll be £1250. Hmm. Managed to stop myself going northern saying "HOW MUCH?" and stuck with the faux laugh and saying 'I'll leave it thanks. Premium Economy will be lovely - If I did that I'll have no spending money'.

You'll also be delighted to know that I have got my sunglasses. Given I have two pairs at home (this isnt the first time I have forgotten them) I decided not to splash out on giant gucci's which would cover most of my face, settling for much more normal ones. Life in the fast lane for me every time.

Right, Need a wee. Damn.